Clinical day 2, ugh! That pretty much sums up the day.
After clinical now, we go to the Med Center to another lecture/presentation, as if sitting on our butts for 4 straight hours in class, and then working 10 hours in clinical isn't enough......
We talked about grief and loss today. First of all, obviously not a happy topic. Then we did this exercise where we wrote down: Each item is on a separate piece of paper.
2 items (monetary things) that we are grateful to have in our life and that we care a lot about. I chose my car, and my childhood stuffed animal Snuffles. We then put those items in a brown paper bag.
2 things hobbies we enjoy/things we need to do for fun: Swimming and Painting.
2 people that are special in our life, i.e. family/friends: I sort of cheated and put "parents" as one, and Elise as the other because she is a very close friend.
2 physical abilities we have that we value in everyday use: speech and walking.
and 2 things we are hopeful for or are looking forward to: Nursing and Marriage.
We then put all of those items into the brown paper bag, shuffled them around and our presenter told us this story:
Today you came home from a routine doctors visit. You have wide spread cancer. There are no treatments, no cure, no last hopes, nothing to buy you more time. You have 4 months left to live.
One month has passed, and you are starting to feel weaker. You don't want to believe that you really are dieing, but you can feel it in your body. (she then instructed us to pull out 2 items in our bag) I pulled out "Marriage" and "parents". These two things are taken away from you. You no longer have these things for support. They are completely gone. Erase them from your mind. Crumple the paper and throw it on the floor!
Two months have passed, and you are having trouble doing your daily activities. Things are starting to feel more real. You begin thinking about all of the things you are not going to be able to do and things that you regret from the past. (pull out two more items): Snuffles and Painting.
Three Months have passed, and you are starting to lose hope. You have trouble remembering what happened that day, and cannot eat as much as you know you should. (take three things out of your bag): Swimming, speech, Walking. These are now gone, forever.
Month four finally approaches and you are trying to decide what is more embarrassing, the fact that you peed on yourself again, or that you do not know what day it is anymore. You are wondering if you will go crazy in your head before you die. What will happen? Does anyone know or care? (Pull 2 more things out of your bag): Car, Nursing. These are gone, and you can't even enjoy the thought of them anymore.
You now are left with one thing in your bag. This one thing is the only thing you have left for support, care, love and hope. Is this one thing enough for you to make it to the end? My last thing was "Elise."
When it came time to pull out my last piece of paper, I had completely forgotten what was left in the bag. I was completely devastated at Month 2 when I lost the two things that I think are the most important to me overall. Much to my surprise and relief, Elise's name came out of the bag. A wave of relief filled my body because I knew that this one last thing, one last piece of paper, was something that I could truly rely on for support and love.
I know this sounds cheesy but the way she told the story, we were all in TEARS at the end of this. None of us actually threw our papers on the floor. At first I thought it was because we didn't want to make a mess, but I really think it was a final attempt to keep the things we really cherish close to us, even if they are broken or taken away.
This exercise made me think about all of the things that I take for-granted in my life, and will hopefully make me a better nurse one day because I was able, for a VERY brief moment, be able to feel what the families in the hospital must feel and deal with.
I promise tomorrow will be happy again.
I love each and every one of you!
It really amazes me how much the plant grows each day. God made some amazing things. Just think, if that tiny little plant can grow that much in one day, how much do you think you can grow in God's presence in one day?
My plant is getting so big. I was surprised to see that the stems are holding the beans up all by themselves.
I always love free pancake day at IHOP. This is probably the only time a year I actually go to IHOP.
Unfortunately this picture is a little blurry, but we were getting pancakes, so we were excited!
My favorite is Butter Pecan. What's your favorite?
They had a LOT of open space in Wal-Mart. Megan was too embarrassed to dance in the open space. This is her "attempt" to dance. I however danced with the shopping cart, and made a couple people laugh and avert their eyes quickly when I looked at them. So basically I brought joy to people's day at my personal expense. Successful day!
Emma persuaded me into making buckeyes (Chocolate peanut butter eggs/homemade Reese's)
It's getting so big.
It has a secret message on the bean!!
Maybe with a LOT of practice I'll get better.
Then we played Chubby Bunny.
Notice how this is all Chris's clothes. Aren't I a nice girlfriend?
Proof she was here. hahahahahah!
My cup of dirt is still growing! I haven't even killed it yet, and it has almost been a week. Chris will be so proud.
Love her!
Now on to the bib card, ick.
Dinner as usual for Chris and I.
Emma's friend came over, and they discovered that our kitchen is the same size as a king size bed sheet. Always good to know.
Ooh Yeah! I forgot, Chris got me a cup of dirt for Valentine's day. Hopefully it will grow into something pretty. I think I can see a sprout growing under the dirt somewhere.
Leftover giant snowman outside of Weslyn College. He was holding a sign, but we couldn't see it.
Good thing Chris's blood checked out OK.
Residual snow from 2 days ago. This still makes me happy.
Chris gave me his heart and a vial of blood. Oddly enough, it tasted like wild cherry.
Chris enjoyed his Reese's heart as well.
Here's the painting that I did.
Obviously it snowed here today in Milledgeville, GA. I have evidence.
I promise tomorrow will be happy again.
The iTunes gift card was great too. Apparently my mother is promoting drinking b/c she got me a shot glass form their NYC trip. THANK YOU!!
There is one happy bag on here thanks to Ansley. She satisfied my sweet tooth for the day. Thanks!!
Pretty chill day. I sat around, studied, and got to go visit Chris because I had clinical in the morning, and it's faster to drive from his place than from mine. Long story short, I'm lazy, and I don't have to wake up as early. 
When I got to all the way to Gray, I realized I forgot my name tag for the next day. Guess who got to drive back to Milledgeville to go get it? ME! :-D
HAHA!! :-)
I went on a shopping trip today with these two lovely ladies! Megan needed some shoes for her sister's wedding, and we found the perfect ones. I love DSW shoe warehouse, it's like heaven inside.
The beautiful ruffles!
Don't you love our uniforms?
My awesome nursing shoes, ready for March of Dimes!
And a glorious nap it was.
This morning it was raining, no big deal right? Well when you have have to wear all white scrubs and own no umbrella it sort of becomes a sticky situation you've gotten yourself into.
Google makes me laugh when it tries to guess what I'm typing......
